Running Emotions, Stress and Temperament; It Can Happen.
After turning one when they start to walk, children begin a new phase of their development and the main purpose becomes the exploration of the surrounding world. Even though it sounds natural, for many parents this is disturbing because the little ones want to do things that are not allowed or that endanger their health. As a parent, it is not easy to keep calm when the child attempts repeatedly to reach the socket, or he wants to hold a glass quite heavy for his tiny hands.
But the baby starts manifesting his personality. He wants to do things and is unhappy when he is not allowed to do it. And because he does not have the language yet, because he cannot express himself using words, the only way he can express himself is through the body, shouting loud, striking, biting and scraping. Generally, parents are worried or scandalized by this behavior because they are afraid that this would mean their little one is naughty, unhappy, and violent. Also, the fear is that the child is not going to be liked by others because of his aggressive behavior.
Under these circumstances, many parents do not know how to manage these kids’ behavior and do their best to correct it: they explain, threaten, punish.
However, despite the parents’ efforts, none of these actions have the desired effect. The child continues to strike, scream, bite, and express violently when he gets angry. This is because the little one continues to feel the negative emotion he does not know how to manage and which he is not allowed to express.
Here are some things that are important to do for helping your child overcome aggressive events:
What you really have to do is teach your child how to manage their emotions, that is, know what to do when they are angry as an alternative to expressing feelings through the body.
1. Be patience and calm.
The learning process of managing emotions is a long-lasting one, so it’s very important to keep your patience and calm all the time. If you get angry, you will not be able to find the right solutions and the problem will continue.
2. Do not label the child in any way.
Many parents who fail to find the right solution come to believe that their 2-3-year-olds are “naughty,” “bad,” “disobedient,” or “aggressive.” In other words, they put some labels that are then the basis of the parent-child relationship. The danger of these labels is that once you think your child is aggressive, you will behave as such and the child will teach you to be aggressive, which will represent for him the normality, so the problem will prolong becoming the natural thing. And you do not want this to happen.
3. Help the child understand his emotions
Instead of telling him not to express his emotions, tell him that it is natural to feel certain emotions. After you calm down, talk about anger and any other emotion you’ve ever felt. You can also do various activities about emotions: reading books, watching animated movies, playing special cards, role-plays, puppet theater. This way, the child will understand easily what emotions are and how they can be expressed.
4. Find alternatives for expressing emotions
Even in situations where the child doesn’t speak well, you can help him find other ways to express his emotions apart from screaming and hitting. For example, for the first time, the child could hit a pillow or just say that he feels angry.
5. Be an emotional management model for your child
Whatever explanation you would bring and how many games you organize with your child, if you express your emotions aggressively, the child will learn to do the same. That’s why it’s very important to manage your own emotions properly.